Tomorrow I have an interview scheduled with KRZR - a Fresno radio station I've never heard of before, but love because they care about what an outed (former) anorgasmic girl thinks and can add to the cultural climax conversation.
It's with a dude called The Rev who wants to "pull back the curtain" about women's orgasm and inform men how they can satisfy. I pondered his questions and brainstormed with the lovely Zola (think Zorro of the clit) and we came up with some good stuff. I thought I would give you a quick preview.
Tips for Men:
1. The clit is where it's at. Most women experience orgasm through clitoral touch - finger, mouth, or by fucking and getting a grind on the clit.
2. Women aren't ready to fuck as soon as a guy has an erection. Women should be nice and engorged before having intercourse. That means a substantial amount of foreplay. In Zola's fabulously vivid words, "You shouldn't be putting anything in there until the woman can sit on the floor and spin like a top." (If you're really going to test that, be sure it's not carpeted flooring).
3. Watch your woman masturbate. Buy her a toy (don't be cheap with the toy...she's going to put this in and around the most precious part of her body). Tell her you think it's sexy when she touches herself. Observe her moves and responses. Next time you've got your fingers (or whatever) on her, have some flashbacks about the masturbation session and imitate.
4. Have a night with unilateral giving. You are the only one pleasing her. No quid pro quo action here. It's all about HER epidermal area. Get it? If she doesn't have to worry or even think about putting her pucker on your pee-pee, she'll be able to lose herself in her own experience. Not only will she love it, but you'll probably get a sympathetic giving gasm.
5. Now this is crucial-fundamental-necessary-important-can't-do-without-kind-of stuff right here. You must ALWAYS be encouraging! Never give a woman shame for not responding sexually the way the actresses in your porno films do. Tell her that her pleasure is paramount to you. And then give her space to tell you what she wants (a little left, up, to the right, the twist, shimmy...WHATEVER!). This is not a form of emasculation; it is communication. Then do what she says. And then tell her she's hot or whatever other fabulous sexy things you're thinking.
Women (gays, transexuals, hermaphrodites, androids...) can also use these tips for their partners. There are several million other tips out there, but this is what I got for the moment (Thanks to Zola, too!). Enjoy!