This is a recurring interview that the TFC blog conducts with random women. The idea is to show how varied and unique each woman's sexual experience can be. To protect the interviewee's privacy, she will be identified as her favorite flower.

TFC: Age?


PT: Early 30’s


TFC: When is the last time you looked at your vulva?


PT: Last week


TFC: What does it look like to you?


PT: It always looks different, like your face looks different every time you look in the mirror, but it’s in a more detached way. I don’t need to lather it exorbitantly priced face lotions or use a palette of make up to alter it’s appearance, it’s just sort of there. It’s there like the handle of the door needs to be there when I wake up to be sure that the world is still right side up.


TFC: Age at first orgasm and how did you achieve it?


PT: 16. I was at a party and my boyfriend at the time he had the secret key,

very adept hands and mouth that produced a result in my body that I did not know was possible.


That singular event is burned into my brain because it was like lightening and then falling off of a cliff. Maybe the best ever, because there was no anticipation of what could, would, or should happen. Thank you Jason Sugars.


TFC: What does an orgasm feel like to you?


PT: It’s like an improvisational jazz session. It starts with a rhythm section; softly at first, but with a consistent beat. Sometimes there is a long into, sometimes not. Other instruments join in and the music gets more complicated and somewhat unstable, then you hit the right note in your mind that sends you and then there is a rippling and clattering, a pulsing that is originally localized that moves out rippling out through you, shattering through your veins, down through your thighs, toes shaking, then a bit of a rumbling, bass drum and cymbals, slight deafness, and then the music ends, but there is a resonance like a blinking light, or an opening and closing of flower, of a heart valve, a burning cigarette that glows on the edge of a tray and then slowly fades.


TFC: Do you have a definition for orgasm?


PT: A free vacation

My best friend

Healthy routine


TFC: When was your most recent orgasm and what were the circumstances?


PT: At the moment it’s just me, myself, and I

I have my routine down, I’ve perfected it.

I can actually time it.


TFC: Have you ever had trouble reaching orgasm? if so, how did it make you feel?


PT: Yes, when I don’t feel safe.


TFC: What did you do to overcome?


PT: It used to feel like failure, now I realize that we are complex animals, not robots.

A Hallmark card won’t get you around it, laughter helps, time passing, changing the subject,

And then maybe going at it again.


TFC: Have any nicknames for your vulva?


PT: No, that would make it feel like something separate from my own body.

It has been called “votre chatte” numerous times.


TFC: What is the best piece of sex advice you've ever received?


PT: Don’t forget to breathe


(TFC is always looking for more women's vulva perspectives. If you're interested in sharing yours, please send an email to info@maraaltman.com)